Denial

I watch Grey’s Anatomy (from season one upto its latest episode). I like it when the characters begin narrating different blah blahs on life now and then.

One of the most unforgettable (mind you, there are so many!) is Meredith’s (played by Ellen Pompeo) narration about Denial.

“De Nile, its not just a river in Egypt… It’s a freakin’ ocean. … “

I talked, well chat with my daughter’s father today. For almost six months now I am convincing myself that I should forget him, get on with life. Forget about the hurt– karma will get him one of these days, get on with living life alone. For some time, I do go on. I even forget him most of the time but there really is once in a while when boom! One small incident, one scene, one thing, it all comes back. Memories comes back so strong you want to cry. And yet you couldn’t. (Don’t ask why).

And then one tries to stare blankly (literally blankly) into space, hoping that the feeling, the sensation wears off. Slowly getting ready to be back on the “old” self where the feelings are again neutral.

Denial is a hard hard hard thing to carry. But at one point in everyone’s life you have to go through its ugly head.